Hem-Hem!

No Movie Witch-themed yarn club would be complete without one of the numerous mean girls from Harry Potter. With so many baddies to choose from, how can you pick just one? Easy...pick the meanest of the mean. Yup, you guessed it! January's mean girl is none other than...

Dolores Umbridge

::shudder::

Yikes, just typing her name gives me the willies! Scares the mean right outta me. If that doesn't qualify her as the meanest of the mean, I don't know what does. I should just end this right here and now, leaving you all to wonder what the installment was all about, while go take a moment to compose myself, by burning some ants with a magnifying glass...but I'll soldier through...for you. See what her meanitude does to this Queen of Mean? Makes me be all nice and warm-hearted andother icky, soft-underbelly stuff. I hate myself right now, and now I feel guilty for it. Bah!

So, here's the big picture of January's installment:

And now, just because I'm feeling generous...here's it broken down. First, the yarn:

then the nom (it wasn't poisoned, but I considered it...wha? There are poisonous frogs in the world, you know):

the swag:

An adorable hand-made stitch marker holder from Jelby! And she was even courteous enough to sort us. (I need to "speak" to her about being so thoughtful) Yes, this one's mine. Me + Slytherin = DUH!

and finally, the stitch marker and enclosure card:

And now I will go steal candy from babies, rub kittens the wrong way, growl at puppies and kick some hoar when she's down...just so I can feel a shred of self-respect again.

::shudder:: (mommy, she's smiling at me...make her stop!!!!)

November's Child Is Full of Woe

Especially if she lived in Salem, Massachusetts at either time when these 3 hoars were on the prowl!

Poor, misunderstood, misrepresented Sanderson sisters. Winnifred, Sarah & Mary aren't evil, they were just cast in a bad light. Who among us hasn't (from time to time) wanted to seal mens' mouths shut just to stem the flow of vitriol that spews forth from them? How many times have we wished it were possible to siphon off just a fraction of kid's energy for our own use, or that it were legal to tranquilize our children just to have 5 minutes of uninterrupted peace? No one? Just me? Ha! So what if they rose from the dead? Details, schmetails!

Whatever your take on their situation, the Sanderson Sisters do make the most excellent Mean Girls and they're the inspiration for this installment of the MGYC.

The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash Sock and was inspired by the dominant color representing each of the sisters. Winnefred - green, Sarah - Orchid and Mary - Coral, all wound up in 560 yards/100+grams of superwash merino fingering yarny goodness.

Extra!

Our amazing and appropriate stitch saver comes from Ruth, aka 5elementknitr. No self-respecting hoar would be without this wicked-genius little gadget. I now have 4. If you don't have that many, you should. The rule of thumb is that you need one for every knitting bag you own (no matter if it contains a project or not) plus one extra, you know, just in case. Go buy more now.

And check out these noms! Cat and skull-shaped hand made milk, dark & white chocolate lollies. Yes, I made extra. And no. You can't have any.

This card, along with the pumpkin, Halloween-inspired stitch marker says it all.

Gotta believe in a little hocus pocus!

Shoe Hoar

Now let me ask you this: If some little twit came along and yoinked the shoes you've been coveting for decades, wouldn't YOU be a little pissed? Thought so! Now you might have a better understanding of where our September Mean Girl is coming from.

First her sister hoards them for like, forever, then right at the moment of acquisition, they go scampering off to that little Dorothy chit. It's enough to put anyone in a bad mood...perhaps even turn them a bit WICKED! Who'd blame her? Let me rephrase that...who'd DARE blame her? Instead, let's just admire her for her restraint and fortitude, and look to her for inspiration in our own wicketude, hmmmm? It's safer that way, trust me!

This is 400-ish yards of Wicked Witch/Flying Butt Monkey-inspired Merino/Bamboo/Nylon blend and comes from the twisted mind of Anne Marie MacKay aka The Chicks with Sticks of ColourPlay Fibers (I couldn't be arsed enough to troll the interwebs for the web page, so once I do find it, I'll edit it...maybe, besides, the Canadian spelling of color is making my head squish out my ears).

In the meantime, you CAN find more of Anne Marie's luscious stuff at Sprouty25 (etsy) & The Chick With Sticks (artfire). Wanna see the rest of the loot? First one to say "dumb question" gets their teeth handed to them in a basket.

Clockwise from the top: Yarn (duh); scented handmade soap Poisoned Apples (you don't think the talking trees were growing and throwing regular old apple did you? You did? That's cute.) from Les Bonnes Idees Mag; homemade ruby slippers noms in fire-of-bitterness cinnamon and a flying witch stitch marker both by yours truly

(close-up of insert card of stitch markery goodness)

So tell me, how far would YOU go to get your hands on the *perfect pair of shoes?



*Honestly? Those ruby slippers? Not quite on the same level of tackiness as ughs and crocks, but pretty damned close!