Saturday, June 23, 2012

MGYC Ep. IV (I): The Manhoar Menace

Membership will soon open for  a new year of the Mean Girls Yarn Club. Please read carefully as there have been a few changes from last year. Minor ones, but we like to keep you on your toes.

Sign-ups open on sometime on July 3, 2012 here at Mean Girls Yarn Club blog. This should give you plenty of time to exercise your clicky finger.

The rules remain pretty much the same as last year so you repeat offenders errr....members should know them by heart. However, I'll repeat them here for the newbies:

The Roolz.
  • The cost: $165 for the entire year, payable either in 1 lump sum, or in three $55 installments. This includes priority shipping for domestic members, and ground shipping for international members.  Unfortunately the USPS, Gas Company, Edison, water company and the Mill from which I get my yarn have all raised their prices (greedy hoars), so I have been forced to do the knifepoint...HONEST!  If I weren't so mean, I would apologize for this small price hike.  But I am, so I'm not.
  • First shipment goes out in September, 2012. Shipments will go out every other month for 1 year.
  • For those members who choose the payment plan, members will make their initial payment when they sign up, and then be billed the final payments in November and again in March for the remaining balance. Please note, these payments are 4 months apart.
  • In the last 2 episodes we have included an exclusive knit pattern as part of an installment that is delivered digitally, either through Ravelry or, lacking that, through email.  Please make sure that I have both on file for you.  The easiest way to do this is to include it in the "notes" section of the Paypal invoice when you sign up.
  • The colorways are to be club exclusives. It’s all super secret until you get your installment. It will remain super secret for no less than 2 weeks after the shipments are sent. Please, no spoilers! 
  • If members choosing the payment plan become delinquent in payment, their membership shall be forfeit if their account becomes 30-days past due, and the remainder of their membership will be offered to the next person on the waiting list.
  • If you opt for the payment plan, and find you need to cancel your membership, feel free to notify me privately. I will not bite your head off…well, maybe just a nibble.
  • It is the member’s responsibility to notify me if their desired mailing and/or email address differs from the one listed in Paypal. It is also the member’s responsibility to notify me in a timely manner if their address changes. If I wanted to I could read your minds, but I prefer to use my evil powers for, well…evil.
  • IF for whatever lame reason, you are displeased with your yarn, (and we don’t see why you would be. This is the MGYC, it’s implied that you get what you get and you like it) anyhow… if for some reason you and your colorway aren’t getting along, just follow these simple rules…
  1. First and foremost…NO WANKING ALLOWED!
  2. Email La and in 50 words or less inform us of your decision.
  3. We’ll put the word out to your fellow members that there’s an unloved, neglected, ABUSED skein of MGYC yarn out there in need of a good home.
  4. We’ll put the abandoner/adopter in touch with each other, and you all can iron out all the payment/shipping details to your little black hearts’ content.
  5. If, in the unlikely event that no one wants your castoff, you can do with it what you will, but only after 6 months.
  6. If all else fails, see rule #1.
So, mark your calendars for July, bookmark this webpage, subscribe to this blog, go join the Ravelry Group and get your clicky finger into shape!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Mob Rule

Rabble Rouser
“I lost a stitch...cursed aristocrats!”

Finally!  A bookish hoar who is as obsessed with the knit as we are and described as “The wife of Lucifer” to boot!  Ah, Madame Defarge!  You are a shining example…a beacon of hope…you ARE the Hoar whose meanitude reaches such lofty height, we can only appreciate it from afar. Who else but a our fiber matriarch would be hoar enough to knit the names of those who just died into knitting?  Here is your pedestal, Madame ...don't fall off!

A Tale of Two Cities  is where we find this bookish bint.  We celebrate Madame Defarge with this installment.  And what better way than with yarn and something to knit with it!

The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios' Superwash DK...100grams/260 yards of vivid Liberty Blue, shot through with violet.  
  And just as Madame knit the names of the aristocrats whose blue blood she helped spill, you can knit this yarn into the accompanying pattern:  Yes Madame, which was designed exclusively for the MGYC by our very own Mean Girl, Aimee Abernathy.  Yes Madame contains instructions to knit a hat, a pair of fingerless mitts and a headband.  Can't choose which to knit?  You don't have to!  All these items can be knit with just this one skein!  Visit Fairie Knits for more diabolically clever patterns!

So, while you're contemplating your next evil do, we've included a homemade
brandy-flavored nom, because, face it, who doesn't enjoy a nice brandy while plotting and scheming? In addtion, to help you keep track of your name-knitting wicked stitches, we've sent along a pretty little a cobalt & obsidian stitch marker.  
Only one more installment's left in this episode!  Who do YOU want to see immortalized in yarn?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Out For Blood


”Look like the innocent flower,
But be the serpent under it”

Lady MacBeth is one of the best models of hoardom ever!  She relentlessly pushed her husband to the breaking point, telling him to screw his courage…and when he couldn’t do the job, what did she do?  Why, she picked up the dagger and did it herself.   

A most ambitious hoar if ever there was one!   How sad is it, then, that she went completely batshit crazy?

Everything about this installment screams "Out for Blood!"  The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash Sock, 100g/560 yards in deep reds, russets and mahoganies.  

And what does any decent king-killing hoar need after a good murder?  Why, a way to wash the blood off her hands.  So we included scented soap from Villainess Soaps in "Blood".  

And all that stabbiness works up an appetite!  So the nom is a brownie bite covered in both milk and red-white chocolate. 

And to help our mean girls from going into a murderous rage of their own, we've include an onyx-and-garnet stitch marker to help keep them from losing track of their stitch count.