MGYC Ep. IV (I): The Manhoar Menace

Membership will soon open for  a new year of the Mean Girls Yarn Club. Please read carefully as there have been a few changes from last year. Minor ones, but we like to keep you on your toes.

Sign-ups open on sometime on July 3, 2012 here at Mean Girls Yarn Club blog. This should give you plenty of time to exercise your clicky finger.

The rules remain pretty much the same as last year so you repeat offenders errr....members should know them by heart. However, I'll repeat them here for the newbies:

The Roolz.

• The cost: $165 for the entire year, payable either in 1 lump sum, or in three $55 installments. This includes priority shipping for domestic members, and ground shipping for international members.  Unfortunately the USPS, Gas Company, Edison, water company and the Mill from which I get my yarn have all raised their prices (greedy hoars), so I have been forced to do the same...at knifepoint...HONEST!  If I weren't so mean, I would apologize for this small price hike.  But I am, so I'm not.
• First shipment goes out in September, 2012. Shipments will go out every other month for 1 year.
• For those members who choose the payment plan, members will make their initial payment when they sign up, and then be billed the final payments in November and again in March for the remaining balance. Please note, these payments are 4 months apart.
• In the last 2 episodes we have included an exclusive knit pattern as part of an installment that is delivered digitally, either through Ravelry or, lacking that, through email.  Please make sure that I have both on file for you.  The easiest way to do this is to include it in the "notes" section of the Paypal invoice when you sign up.
• The colorways are to be club exclusives. It’s all super secret until you get your installment. It will remain super secret for no less than 2 weeks after the shipments are sent. Please, no spoilers! 
  
• If members choosing the payment plan become delinquent in payment, their membership shall be forfeit if their account becomes 30-days past due, and the remainder of their membership will be offered to the next person on the waiting list.
• If you opt for the payment plan, and find you need to cancel your membership, feel free to notify me privately. I will not bite your head off…well, maybe just a nibble.
• It is the member’s responsibility to notify me if their desired mailing and/or email address differs from the one listed in Paypal. It is also the member’s responsibility to notify me in a timely manner if their address changes. If I wanted to I could read your minds, but I prefer to use my evil powers for, well…evil.
• IF for whatever lame reason, you are displeased with your yarn, (and we don’t see why you would be. This is the MGYC, it’s implied that you get what you get and you like it) anyhow… if for some reason you and your colorway aren’t getting along, just follow these simple rules…

1. First and foremost…NO WANKING ALLOWED!
2. Email La and in 50 words or less inform us of your decision.
3. We’ll put the word out to your fellow members that there’s an unloved, neglected, ABUSED skein of MGYC yarn out there in need of a good home.
4. We’ll put the abandoner/adopter in touch with each other, and you all can iron out all the payment/shipping details to your little black hearts’ content.
5. If, in the unlikely event that no one wants your castoff, you can do with it what you will, but only after 6 months.
6. If all else fails, see rule #1.

So, mark your calendars for July, bookmark this webpage, subscribe to this blog, go join the Ravelry Group and get your clicky finger into shape!

The Year of Mean

Well, gals, our first year is done, and I don't know about you, but I'm feeling rather energized and ready to go out and show this world what being a Mean Girl is all about.

So what now? You know what? I'm rather in the mood to stroll languidly down memory lane reliving the highlights of the past year while waiting on La to get off her duff and start with MGYC Part Deux. And since I'm writing this and you're not, here we go.

June - Aunt Sarah's Pussies

"We are Siamese if you please. We are Siamese if you don't please."

Oh those adorable little kitties. What? Just ask Aunt Sarah. Her poor innocent babies. You believe me right?

With this delivery from House of Awesome, the Mean Girl's Yarn Club got off to a slinky, cunning start.

August - Heartless Tart

"I warn you dear child, if I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?"

Egads, the things a Queen must endure! Unruly, impertinent children, and gardeners that are quite incompetent. If one didn't have ways of amusing oneself, life would be most unbearable. Now where is that Rabbit?

The second offering, from Atelier Dizzy Blonde was as sizzling as the month it arrived.

October - Shelfish Bitch

"Come in. Come in, my child. We mustn't lurk in doorways. It's rude. One might question your upbringing."

Unbelievable, the entitlement complex children have these days! One works and slaves for their art and these ungrateful wretches offer a pittance. A pittance!

The third installment, and the halfway mark, was a true work of art from KnittyKnitterton.

December - Aurora's Hoarealis

"Well, quite a glittering assemblage King Stefan. Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and... oh, how quaint - even the rabble."

Boring. That's all they are, plain and simple. Pastels, even. Bah. Excuse me, I have a distaff to go sharpen.

The fourth episode in the series was a stunning concoction, guaranteed to brighten the dreariest winter day, from KnottyLa.

February - Heart in a Box

"When she breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, her breath will still, her blood congeal, then I'll be fairest in the land!"

Uppity little chit. And what in the world is this singing with bluebirds crap? Don't make me vomit. Is she really so naive as to think that beauty comes without a price? Newsflash, stepbrat, you're the price this time.

This little Valentine came in two versions, both breathtaking masterpieces, one from Alpha B Yarns (top), one from House of Awesome (bottom).

April - Lucifer's Mistress

"And of course there's the mending and the sewing and the laundry... Oh, yes, and one more thing. See that Lucifer gets his bath."

Bath? Is she even clean enough to give me a bath? I doubt it. I'm probably filthy, what with all the snooping and the spying and the tattling. All that effort to keep her in line. A minion's work is never done. I wonder if she'll floss my teeth after I eat her squeaky little friends?

This, the final chapter in our tale, was especially poignant for me. Such a tribute to minion hood coinciding with my birthday? I was verklempt. Brought to you by Dizzy Blonde Studios, this subtle nod to those that work behind the scenes reminds all of us good little minions how lucky we are to work for only the finest and how fortunate they have been in their search for the perfect muscle.

Now we've reached the end of our tour.

Impressive, huh? I admit, I feel a little empty inside, but I'm sure that my mailman won't mind. Although...his aim from the sidewalk has gotten pretty damn accurate and I do so adore that slight sheen of terror in his eyes when I open the door.

Unfortunately for him, it's not over. Stay tuned to this exclusive venue for information on the Sequel. We promise it won't hurt too awful much.

FIN

Save The Date

That's when sign-ups begin! Have your credit cards ready!


Oh, and here: To prove we're not entirely mean, we've made you something.



Help yourselves! Feel free to put them on your blog, in your Ravelry...wherever you'd like, just remember, no stealing our bandwidth!

And, some of you have have been astute enough to notice that we've got a little poll going on over there to the right. For those of you who haven't, guess what? WE'VE GOT A POLL GOING ON OVER THERE TO THE RIGHT! Go vote. I have, so you know that at least ONE of the answers is the correct one.