Killer Instinct

Sssmmmokin' Hot!

Catherine Tramell is a highly successful crime novelist.  She's smart, beautiful, rich and sexy, and has some mad skills with an ice pick...and maybe a few "issues" as well.  No matter, she's a perfect candidate for Hoardom, and the inspiration for this first installment of Season 5:  Revenge of the Hoar.  Who can forget the sexy club scene where she wears this bronze dress and seduces a washed-up LA detective from afar while dancing provocatively with her BFF and lover, Roxy?  It is that very scene, no, that very dress, that inspired this installment's colorway.

The Yarn

560 yards, 115 grams of light fingering superwash merino in glorious bronze, rich chocolate and deep blood red with hints of ivory and alabaster

The Loot

Herbal soap and lotion mini set from Wolfe Farms in their "Love Bites" and "Torrential Rain" fragrances

Cherry brandy or cherry-orange brandy flavored lollipop

Smoky quartz stitch marker from Toluca Knit Jewelry and Fine Yarns

Pattern Recommendations

More Cowl Bell Please-by Mary Anarella

Gobemouche-by Ambre Nid de Vigogne

Hyperbolic Hexagon Sock-by H. Lurie

Fondue Mittens-by Laura Zukaite

Goldilocks-by Justyna Lorkowska

Mandala Hat-by Kira Dulaney

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Jamie Short Sleeve Vest-by Vicky Chan

Vines of Love Leggings-by BreeAnna Laub

Fan Pattern Shawl-byCraftown.com

We Scare Because We Care

He's Karma's Little Bitch

But Randall scares because he likes it, and because he's particularly good at it, which makes him a most excellent candidate for our last Manhoar of this season!

Even though he's a chameleon, karmic or otherwise, changing colors at will, I find him most pleasing in his natural coloration.

Monsters Inc.

   

July's installment included 100g./560 yds. of Dizzy Blonde Superwash Sock dyed in varying shades of iris, lavender, periwinkle and sea-sky blue.  It also included a coordinating stitch marker, a maple syrup & bacon nom and an adorable accessories' (aka skuti) bag from one of our favorite hoars-in-residence, Carol of Jelby

Yarny-goodness close-up and personal!

Here's a look at the interior of the bag, and the little surprise we found waiting for us inside!

Pattern Recommendations
Knotty Gloves by Julia Mueller
Spatterdash Wristwarmers by Dagmar Mora
Margaret Dashwood by Joanna Johnson
Riverbank Road by Amy Swenson
Skew by Lana Holden
Hitchhat by Martina Behm
Muscari Bag by Lena Fedotova
Plumeria Frill by Michelle B.
Rotweinknoten by Tanja Osswald
Visage Lace Beret by Kristin Omdahl 

OOPS!

Hey there all you up there in Canadia, I had the wrong shipping figures for you.  After recalculating, it brought memberships down to $180 for Canadian Mean Girls, and now all you hoars hanging out up north there have your own little sign-up buttons.

"Now isn't that special"

Membership!

Membership sign-ups are now open.  Just click one of those buttons in the upper RH corner of the sidebar and you'll be on your way to Mean Girl heaven...or would that be hell?

MGYC V(II): Attack of the Hoars

Membership will soon open for  a new year of the Mean Girls Yarn Club. Please read carefully as there have been a few changes from last year. Minor ones, but we like to keep you on your toes.

Sign-ups open on sometime on August 5, 2013 here at Mean Girls Yarn Club blog. This should give you plenty of time to exercise your clicky finger.  Space is limited so sign up early to ensure your spot.

The rules remain pretty much the same as last year so you repeat offenders errr....members should know them by heart. However, I'll repeat them here for the newbies:

The Roolz.

• The cost: $165 for domestic; $195 for international for the entire year*.  
• There are 2 payment options:  either in 1 lump sum, or in three equal installments. This includes priority shipping for domestic members, and ground shipping for international members.  
• First shipment goes out in October, 2013. Shipments will go out every other month for 1 year.
• For those members who choose the payment plan, members will make their initial payment when they sign up, and then be billed the final payments. Please note, these payments are 4 months apart.
• In the last 3 episodes we have included an exclusive knit pattern as part of an installment.  This seems to appease the members so I don't see the reason to stop.These are delivered digitally, either through Ravelry or, lacking that, through email.    Please make sure that I have both on file for you.  The easiest way to do this is to include it in the "notes" section of the Paypal invoice when you sign up.
• The colorways are to be club exclusives. It’s all super secret until you get your installment. It will remain super secret for 2 weeks after the shipments are sent. Please, no spoilers!  
  
• If members choosing the payment plan become delinquent in payment, their membership shall be forfeit if their account becomes 30-days past due, and the remainder of their membership will be offered to the next person on the waiting list.
• If you opt for the payment plan, and find you need to cancel your membership, feel free to notify me privately. I will not bite your head off…well, maybe just a nibble.
• It is the member’s responsibility to notify me if their desired mailing and/or email address differs from the one listed in Paypal. It is also the member’s responsibility to notify me in a timely manner if their address changes. If I wanted to I could read your minds, but I prefer to use my evil powers for, well…evil.
• IF for whatever lame reason, you are displeased with your yarn, (and we don’t see why you would be. This is the MGYC, it’s implied that you get what you get and you like it) anyhow… if for some reason you and your colorway aren’t getting along, just follow these simple rules…

1. First and foremost…NO WANKING!
2. Email La and in 50 words or less to inform me of your decision.
3. I'll put the word out to your fellow members that there’s an unloved, neglected, ABUSED skein of MGYC yarn out there in need of a good home.
4. We’ll put the abandoner/adopter in touch with each other, and you all can iron out all the payment/shipping details to your little black hearts’ content.
5. If, in the unlikely event that no one wants your castoff, you can release it into the wild in any manner your dark little hearts desire, but only after 6 months.
6. If all else fails, see rule #1.

So, mark your calendars for August, bookmark this webpage, subscribe to this blog, go join the Ravelry Group and get your clicky finger into shape!

*If I wasn't so mean I'd actually feel bad about the extra cost for international hoars.  I might even go so far as to choose to explain that the USPS has taken lessons from us and jacked up their prices to ship internationally, and that I'm splitting the additional cost 50/50.

Slimy Yet Satisfying!

Pussyfootin' Around

"Hey Uncle Scar, when I'm King, what'll that make you?"

"A monkey's uncle."

"You're so weird."

"You have no idea."

Whoever came up with the rule of the line of succession was obvious a first-born son.  As if being an accident of birth makes you a better king...bah!  There have been several in lower birth order who would have made excellent kings.  Had a truer test than that of order-of-birth been implemented, I would have proved to be the worthier of the two, and wouldn't have been forced to ally with those mangy mongrels in order to prove that point.  Life isn't fair...

...especially for Mean Girls.  This month's installment was all about Scar of Disney's Lion King.

Kingly Loot

Pussyfootin' is 4oz/100g of Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash DK and is approximately 280 yards of tonal deep chocolate browns, rich toasted tan and glorious tones of mahogany.  

The installment also included an insert card with pattern recommendations, a smoky topaz crystal stitch marker from Toluca Knitting Jewelry and a rice-crispy treat nom sandwiching gummy worms and drizzled with milk chocolate. Yum!

Namaskar:  Pronounced “Nah-mah-skar” is a deep spiritual salutation usually accompanied by holding the palms together and thumbs touching the third eye area.

 With the depths and charms of my mind and all the love and cordiality of my heart, the divinity within me greets the divinity within you.

If anyone needs a little charm and cordiality in his life, it'd be Scar.  Namaskar is a yoga sock knitting pattern designed by none other than one of our very own, Aimee Abernathy of Fun Fairie Knits.

Pattern Recommendations

Puerperium Cardigan – Kelly Brooker

Milo – Georgie Hallam

Age of Brass and Steam Kerchief – Orange Flower

Welted Fingerless Gloves – Churchmouse Yarns and Teas

Slouched Tuva Hat – Turvid

A Noble Cowl – Emily Kausalik

Media Pocket – Jeffey Schindler

Joris – Annita Wilschut

Full Tilt – Laura Wilson-Martos

Sunspree One Skein Shawl – Rebecca Velesquez

Tusculum Cowl – Robyn Chachula

PSA - Mean Girls Style

The nom for the final installment contains bacon.  If you are Kosher, vegan, vegetarian or some other kind of speshul sno-flake angel who cannot have bacon, please PM me on ravelry or send me an email, and I'll make sure that your nom contains extra no bacon.

Yarns of Installments Past

Just revving up for the Wank Along which starts Monday, July 1.  Here are charts of all the Mean Girls colorways so far:

Episode I: The Maiden Voyage 

(Classic Disney Animated Villains)

 06/09 - Aunt Sarah’s Pussies Si & Am from Lady and the Tramp 
 08/09 - Heartless Tart Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland 
 10/09 - Shellfish Bitch Ursula the Sea Witch from Little Mermaid 
 12/09 - Aurora’s HOARealis Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty 
 02/10 - Heart In A Box The Evil Queen from Snow White 
 04/10 - Lucifer’s Mistress Lady Tremaine, the Evil Stepmother from Cinderella

Available from Dizzy Blonde Studios:
Aurora’s HOARealis is now “Barbara - Bottled Eden” (sock)
Lucifer’s Mistress is now “Mae” (DK)

Episode II: Mean Girls Strike Back 

(Movie Witches)

07/10 - Hoar Frost White Witch from The Chronicles of Narnia:  Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe 
09/10 - Totally Wicked Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz
11/10 - Run Amok Sanderson Sisters from Hocus Pocus
01/11 - Dictate Hoar Professor Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter Series
03/11 - Baby Melter Queen Bavmorda from Willow 
05/11 - Faery Fart Morgan le Fey from Excaliber

Available from Dizzy Blonde Studios:
Hoar Frost is now “Debbie” (sock)

Episode III: Return of the Hoar 

(Bookish Bints) 

08/11 - HoarCrux Nagini from the Harry Potter Series
10/11 - Road Rage Christine from Stephen King’s Christine 
12/11 - Hoity Toity Lady Catherine De Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice 
02/12 - AmBITCHous Lady MacBeth from MacBeth 
04/12 - Rabble Rouser Madame de Farge from A Tale of Two Cities 
06/12 - MonkeyShines Mrs. Marisa Coulter from His Dark Materials Series 

Pending Available from Dizzy Blonde Studios:
 Road Rage (DK)
 Hoity Toity (sock)

Episode IV: The Manhoar Menace

(Villains from Disney’s Animated Full-Length Features) 

09/12 - Curses! Dr. Facilier/Shadowman from The Princess and the Frog 
11/12 - Hoar’s Yer Buddy? Syndrome from The Incredibles 
01/13 - Alacazam Jackass! Jafar from Aladdin 
03/13 - Baroque’n Hooker Captain Hook from Peter Pan 
05/13 - Pussyfootin’ Scar from Lion King 
07/13 - CLASSIFIED

WAL: Wank A-Long (KAL/CAL for Hoars)

If you're like me, you have 4 years of MGYC yarn that you've "collected".  So, to help you make room for year 5, we're hosting a KAL/CAL - Whatever Along.  The rules are pretty simple.  Here's the quick low-down.  

• Dates:  July 1 - August 31, 2013
• Yarn:  Any of the MGYC club yarn
• Pattern:  Any pattern your cold, evil little heart desires.  It can be knitting or crochet.  Hell, you can even weave if that's what floats yer boat
• The project cannot have been started prior to July 1, 2013
• You can enter as many projects as your idles hands can muster.
• To be eligible for the prize(s), you must post a picture of the finished project in the appropriate Ravelry Thread.  If it a pair of something, both items must be pictured.  Don't be a-cheatin'.
• If you're an over-achiever and complete more than one project, make a separate post for each project.
• There will be a FO thread that is just for pictures of finished items.  No chatter please.
• There will, however, be a chatter thread for you to wank in and post progress pictures as you go.
• Please tag your projects with MGYCHAL1.  The "H" is for hoar.
• You need to be a member of the MGYC Ravelry group to be eligible for the prize(s), however you DO NOT need to be a current member of the current club.  You can be a former MGYC member, or be someone in possession of some MGYC yarn that has been released out into the wild.
• Prize(s) to be announced when I figure that part out.

I'll post more details, and links in later blog posts.  For now, this should get you started scheming.

Oh Captain, My Captain!

Baroque'n Hooker

Oh, Captain Hook, who would have thought that under that dapper exterior lies the heart and soul of such a wonderfully vicious villain?  Is it your fault a band of rag-tag snot-nosed brats led by a flying imp named Peter Pan harry and harass you and your hard-working crew?  Not only have they turned all of Neverland against you, allying with villainous scum like Pixies and Mermaids, but they have the NERVE to start recruiting from a completely different realm entirely. 

This month's installment is dedicated to you!  100g./4oz. 560 yards of Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash Sock dyed up in blood red, brazen orchid and deepest black. 

A handmade orange brandy-flavored lolly dipped in milk chocolate, a blood-red stitchmarker and a gorgeous silver clippy bookmark with a hand-felted clock face from Jelby round out the loot!  Yes, my friends, for those who weren't quite sure what that adorable "felted clock thingy" (your words, not mine) was, it's a bookmark.

Pattern Recommendations
Nina's Beaded Scarf by Lana Holden
Faded Lace Mitts by Meg Haines
Miya Shawl by Fatima Lasay
Breezy Shrug by Mimi Alelis
Piquant by Lily Go
Cushion Cover by Pierrot 
Metro Kerchief by Yuliya Tkacheva
Love Me Mary Jane Slipper Socks by Theresa Grant
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Tennessee Twister by Daniela Richardson
Henslowe by Beth Kling
Lucille by Courtney Kelley

Rather Knotty

Ever wanted to know what this snark sounds like in person?  Well, wait no longer!

Well, actually, you'll have to wait until it launches, but then you won't have to wait any longer.

Wizardly Vizier

Alacazam Jackass!

Jafar, the Grand Vizier of Agrabah is a mustache-twirler of the highest order.  He's a throne-coveting, minion-abusing, snake-stick wielding wizard, and a such a snazzy dresser!

What better way to pay tribute to this fabulous villain than to immortalize him in a moment of triumph!  Yarn, jeweled tin, homemade nom and stitchmarker were what assailed our members when they opened their packages.

The yarn is a generous 590 yard skein of Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash Sock wickedly dyed in tonal colors shifting from berry to wine to deep aubergine, perfectly capturing the image of Jarfar in his best light: against the star-strewn desert night's sky. 

A homemade orange brandy lollipop generously dipped in poison chocolate, a gorgeous smoky crystal stitch marker from Toluca Knitting Jewelry, and a sparkly be-jeweled keepsake tin rounded out the package.

Pattern Recommendations

Knit

Holden Shawlette by Mindy Wilkes

La Cumparsita by Marnie MacLean

Tidal Wave Socks by O/C Knitiot Design

Worlds End Fingerless Gloves by Deborah Gall

Georgia Sleeves by Celeste Glassel

Campanulata by Caroline Steinford

Korrigan by Solenn Couix-Loarer

Crochet

#50 Kimono Wrap Lace Top by Sweaterbabe

Bouquet di Fiore Purse by Angela Frame

Bosom Buddy

Hoar's Yer Buddy?

Supers are somewhat commonplace in Metroville, and all little Buddy Pine wanted to be was Mr. Incredible's sidekick, Incrediboy. Unfortunately, he didn't take two things into consideration.  First, Buddy  didn't have any real super powers and second, Mr. Incredible is a complete and utter asshat.

Take two parts rejection, three parts determination and a healthy dose of keen engineering intellect, allow to simmer for a decade or so, and you have the perfect formula for creating a  super-genius, super-villain aka Syndrome, and the inspiration for this installment.

Black, white, vibrant blues, and a bright shock of ginger color these skeins of 100g/480y Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash Sock.  It was a happy (or unhappy, depending on your gridiron proclivity) accident that the yarn is also Denver Broncos colors.




Sydrome's secret lair is on a private tropical volcanic island, so the homemade nom needed to be both exotic AND firey, obviously a mango-chili gourmet lollipop was the only way to go.  A bright orange AB crystal stitch-marker from Toluka Knit Jewelry and a clever stitch saver from 5elementknitr round out the installment.

Pattern Recommendations:

Trillian - Martina Behm

Foxy Loop - Jenny Faifel

Willow Cowl - Amelia Lyon

Sock-It-To-Me Gloves - Joan Beebe

City Lights Scarf - Universal Yarn

Flappy - Rachel Maurer

Men's Basic Socks - Margaret Testa

Little Ivanhoe - Lena Gjerald

Little Cotton Shrug - Mimi Alelis

Sturdy Crocheted Bag - Carol Huebscher Rhoades

"I'm super and I know it!"