Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Curses!

Dr. Facilier, aka The Shadow Man is a lean, mean, curse-casting machine who's got friends on the other side!  He may be one of Disney's newest Bad Boys, but in The Princess and the Frog, he's one big bad-assed voodoo-dealing daddy.  Is it a wonder he's the first of our Manhoar Menaces?  

He looks and sounds like Laurence Fishburne (awesome!), loves jazz, preys on the gullible, manipulates the greedy and eats gators (trumpet-playing or otherwise) for lunch.  When he do that voodoo that he do so well, it's done in swirls of green and purple, and the inspiration for September's colorway.  

Hoars, I give you "Curses!"!

100 grams/280 yards of Dizzy Blonde Studios 100% Merino Superwash DK in a stunning blend of shades in key lime and lavender.  

A new feature this episode is a list of pattern recommendations.  I know how lazy you bints can be! 

Heads Are Round 
Esker Scarf 
Baby Dragon Scarf 
Sleeveheart 
Eyelet Shawl 
Susie Rogers Reading Mitts 
Baby Eyelet Cardi 
===================
Granny Circle Placemats 
Sensual Shawl in Lover's Knots 

 Wolfe Farms provided this installment's swag.  Maple pecan scented soap and lotion in "World's Best Coffee" calls to mind a lazy afternoon in a French Quarter cafe listening to jazz and enjoying a cup of coffee with a generous slice of pecan pie.  They have lots of other amazing stuff.  You should go shopping there.  Right.  Now.

And afterwards you can stroll through the French Quarter while enjoying this homemade mint julep nom.







But be ever mindful of the Shadowy places...they move when you least expect them to!

Last Bint Standing

Monkey Shines

Mrs. Marisa Coulter is a selfish,  determined, calculating, ruthless power-hungry hoar with wide political connections, and drop-dead gorgeous to boot.  Along with her daemon, a beautiful golden monkey with long hair, she weaves a web of self-serving deceit, even dethroning kings.  So how much do we love her?  With all of our little stone-cold hearts!  So much so, that we can forgive her few moments of weakness when she sacrifices those ambitions, (and at the end so much more) in order to save the life of her daughter.  Bah!  Motherly love.  Who needs it?!?

Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials is where we find Mrs. Coulter and her daemon, the inspiration of this final installment of the Mean Girls Yarn Club, Episode III: Bookish Bints.

The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios' Superwash DK...100grams/260 yards in yellows cream, gold and pear blend beautifully in this tonally-shifting skein. 

 

  
The nom is a refreshing lemon and ginger homemade heart-shaped (cuz we lurves her) lollipop. This installment also includes a sweet little beaded stitch marker.

And what better way to store your knitting jewelry than in this delightful stitch marker tin!  Handmade by Cary, the felted top is in the form of Pantalaimon, Lyra's (the heroine of the series) ermine daemon.  Like all good feret-like creatures, Pan will look after all your sparkly pretties, and perhaps even collect a few of his own you didn't even know you had!  Visit Cary's etsy store, Jelby, and throw money at her.  For a Mean Girl, her stitch markers, holders, pendants and tins are adorable!  You must have more!

Time is running out!

What?  You didn't think that sign-ups would be open indefinitely did you?  August 6th will be the last day to get your Mean Girls Yarn Club Episode VI membership.  So get yours while you still can!

Aaaaaand They're Off!

In just a few moments, sign-ups will be open.  You'll be able to tell because there will be nice little Paypal clicky buttons in the top of the right-hand sidebar.  Now, if this goes as it has the last 4 years, it'll glitch for the first few people who try to sign up.  If this happens I am reachable several ways: 

• You can leave me a comment here
• You can send me a Rav PM, Plurk or Tweet:  I'm KnottyLa on all 3 of those sites
• If we've friended each other, you can always send me a PM on Facebook
• You can email me

MGYC Ep. IV (I): The Manhoar Menace

Membership will soon open for  a new year of the Mean Girls Yarn Club. Please read carefully as there have been a few changes from last year. Minor ones, but we like to keep you on your toes.

Sign-ups open on sometime on July 3, 2012 here at Mean Girls Yarn Club blog. This should give you plenty of time to exercise your clicky finger.

The rules remain pretty much the same as last year so you repeat offenders errr....members should know them by heart. However, I'll repeat them here for the newbies:

The Roolz.

• The cost: $165 for the entire year, payable either in 1 lump sum, or in three $55 installments. This includes priority shipping for domestic members, and ground shipping for international members.  Unfortunately the USPS, Gas Company, Edison, water company and the Mill from which I get my yarn have all raised their prices (greedy hoars), so I have been forced to do the same...at knifepoint...HONEST!  If I weren't so mean, I would apologize for this small price hike.  But I am, so I'm not.
• First shipment goes out in September, 2012. Shipments will go out every other month for 1 year.
• For those members who choose the payment plan, members will make their initial payment when they sign up, and then be billed the final payments in November and again in March for the remaining balance. Please note, these payments are 4 months apart.
• In the last 2 episodes we have included an exclusive knit pattern as part of an installment that is delivered digitally, either through Ravelry or, lacking that, through email.  Please make sure that I have both on file for you.  The easiest way to do this is to include it in the "notes" section of the Paypal invoice when you sign up.
• The colorways are to be club exclusives. It’s all super secret until you get your installment. It will remain super secret for no less than 2 weeks after the shipments are sent. Please, no spoilers! 
  
• If members choosing the payment plan become delinquent in payment, their membership shall be forfeit if their account becomes 30-days past due, and the remainder of their membership will be offered to the next person on the waiting list.
• If you opt for the payment plan, and find you need to cancel your membership, feel free to notify me privately. I will not bite your head off…well, maybe just a nibble.
• It is the member’s responsibility to notify me if their desired mailing and/or email address differs from the one listed in Paypal. It is also the member’s responsibility to notify me in a timely manner if their address changes. If I wanted to I could read your minds, but I prefer to use my evil powers for, well…evil.
• IF for whatever lame reason, you are displeased with your yarn, (and we don’t see why you would be. This is the MGYC, it’s implied that you get what you get and you like it) anyhow… if for some reason you and your colorway aren’t getting along, just follow these simple rules…

1. First and foremost…NO WANKING ALLOWED!
2. Email La and in 50 words or less inform us of your decision.
3. We’ll put the word out to your fellow members that there’s an unloved, neglected, ABUSED skein of MGYC yarn out there in need of a good home.
4. We’ll put the abandoner/adopter in touch with each other, and you all can iron out all the payment/shipping details to your little black hearts’ content.
5. If, in the unlikely event that no one wants your castoff, you can do with it what you will, but only after 6 months.
6. If all else fails, see rule #1.

So, mark your calendars for July, bookmark this webpage, subscribe to this blog, go join the Ravelry Group and get your clicky finger into shape!

Mob Rule

Rabble Rouser

“I lost a stitch...cursed aristocrats!”

Finally!  A bookish hoar who is as obsessed with the knit as we are and described as “The wife of Lucifer” to boot!  Ah, Madame Defarge!  You are a shining example…a beacon of hope…you ARE the Hoar whose meanitude reaches such lofty height, we can only appreciate it from afar. Who else but a our fiber matriarch would be hoar enough to knit the names of those who just died into knitting?  Here is your pedestal, Madame ...don't fall off!

A Tale of Two Cities  is where we find this bookish bint.  We celebrate Madame Defarge with this installment.  And what better way than with yarn and something to knit with it!

The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios' Superwash DK...100grams/260 yards of vivid Liberty Blue, shot through with violet.  

  And just as Madame knit the names of the aristocrats whose blue blood she helped spill, you can knit this yarn into the accompanying pattern:  Yes Madame, which was designed exclusively for the MGYC by our very own Mean Girl, Aimee Abernathy.  Yes Madame contains instructions to knit a hat, a pair of fingerless mitts and a headband.  Can't choose which to knit?  You don't have to!  All these items can be knit with just this one skein!  Visit Fairie Knits for more diabolically clever patterns!

So, while you're contemplating your next evil do, we've included a homemade
poison
brandy-flavored nom, because, face it, who doesn't enjoy a nice brandy while plotting and scheming? In addtion, to help you keep track of your name-knitting wicked stitches, we've sent along a pretty little a cobalt & obsidian stitch marker.  

 

Only one more installment's left in this episode!  Who do YOU want to see immortalized in yarn?

Out For Blood

  

amBITCHous

”Look like the innocent flower,

But be the serpent under it”

Lady MacBeth is one of the best models of hoardom ever!  She relentlessly pushed her husband to the breaking point, telling him to screw his courage…and when he couldn’t do the job, what did she do?  Why, she picked up the dagger and did it herself.   


A most ambitious hoar if ever there was one!   How sad is it, then, that she went completely batshit crazy?

Everything about this installment screams "Out for Blood!"  The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios Superwash Sock, 100g/560 yards in deep reds, russets and mahoganies.  

And what does any decent king-killing hoar need after a good murder?  Why, a way to wash the blood off her hands.  So we included scented soap from Villainess Soaps in "Blood".  

And all that stabbiness works up an appetite!  So the nom is a brownie bite covered in both milk and red-white chocolate. 


And to help our mean girls from going into a murderous rage of their own, we've include an onyx-and-garnet stitch marker to help keep them from losing track of their stitch count.







 

Haughty Hoar

Hoity

Toity

Drowning in her own sense of superior superiority, Lady Catherine De Bourgh is December's Mean Girl.  Not only is she a rich widow (way to go!), ahem...she has social standing, a big fish in a little pond with her fingers in many pies.

She is haughty, pompous, domineering, condescending and most importantly intimidating; traits we greatly admire here in the MGYC.  And the fact that she keeps that simpering little fool, Mr. Collins on a short leash endears her to us even more. 

This installment is all about overblown English gardens and floral scented formal parlors; essentials I've always imagined as mainstays at Rosings, the primary residence of our Grand Damme. 

The complete "Hoity Toity" package 

Yarn, Nom, Extra & Insert Card w/ Stitch Marker

Purples, lavenders, browns and tans in DBS Superwash sock 400 g/570 yd

4 ounce tin of scented SOY candle in "Lavender Dawn"

Champagne flavored hand-made nom with special green twisty-tie

So be the De Bourgh and embrace your inner snob... 


...go Bitch or go home.

Hell on Wheels

Road Rage!

Nothing short of demonic possession is evil enough to turn a classic beauty such as Christine into a Mean Girl worthy of this club! Lucky for us, Stephen King is just twisted enough to give her to us, so Christine is the inspiration for October's MGYC installment of all things fire-ragey and HOARifying!

 

The yarn is Dizzy Blonde Studios, Dirty Blonde Superwash DK. That's 100g/230 yards of soft and squishy done up in flames, reds, russets and rusts, with matching bad-ass stitch marker and a hotter-than-hot cinnamon-apple nom.

 

 

Even the meanest of hoars get thirsty from time to time, and would she drink just any tea? Hell no. She'd bring her own...along with her demitasse spoon. What better way to keep it all in one place than this amazing Tea-Traveler, hand-made by my SIL, Millie?  BTW, don't let the name fool you, when she started knitting (this year), her first project was Estonian lace.  Millie is the Han Solo of Hoars...she's braver than I thought!

 

What if tea's not your thing? Well, too bad...

...or...You can always turn yours into a Knit Knotions Kneeper 

(Silent "K", Silent "K", Silent "N").