Mean Girls Strike Back

If I get offa my lazy ass and do what I intend to do here to remodel and spiff the place up for Mean Girls Yarn Club, Part Deux: Mean Girls Strike Back, you'll most like see a lot of dust and maybe some changes. In the meantime, let me bring you all up to speed.

The Mean Girls’ Yarn club, Part Deux finds me, KnottyLa flying solo. You see, in true Mean Girl fashion, KnittyKnitterton (Ravelry name provided to protect the not-so-innocent), got us all worked up, excited, and dare I say it…moist over her beautiful yarns and is now taking her ball and bat a going home. What a tease!

So, things will be done slightly differently this next go-round. Four of the installments will be the product of my wicked cauldrons and evil incantations. However, the other 2 shall be merino/Cashmere (because you should always spell Cashmere with a capital “C”) sock yarn from the wicked genius that is ChicksWithSticks (Rav name), aka Sprouty25, aka Ann-Marie MacKay. And no, I’m not going to divulge which installment shall be which yarn, so don’t even bother asking!

As with last year, the entire year will be themed and there will be collectible stitch markers provided by Stacey Sobesiak, aka Purling Dervish (Rav name), which will reflect the Mean Girls they accompany. There will also be noms, most of which will be hand-made. I’m getting rather fond of slipping my poisons into sweet treats for you all. And yes, there will always be amazing extras included. In most cases, the extras come from independent artisans, and are of the highest quality. In fact, one installment this time around will contain an extra so awesome it’ll make your head spin. And no. I’m not going to divulge what installment that will be, so again, don’t even bother to aks.

Sign-ups open on Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 9:30am PDT at Mean Girls Yarn Club blog (which means here, just in case you're wondering). This should give you plenty of time to exercise your clicky finger.

The rules remain pretty much the same as last year so you repeat offenders errr....members should know them by heart. However, I'll repeat them here for the newbies:

The Roolz.

• The cost: $150 for the entire year, payable either in 1 lump sum, or in three $50 installments. This includes priority shipping for domestic members, ground shipping for accented domestic and international members.
• Canadian and Mexican members shall be considered “Accented Domestic Members”.
• First shipment goes out in July, 2010. Shipments will go out every other month for 1 year.
• Membership will be limited to 50 people.
• The colorways are to be club exclusives. It’s all super secret until you get your installment. It will remain super secret for no less than 2 weeks after the shipments are sent. NO SPOILERS ALLOWED!
• There will be a waiting list for those of you too slow on the uptake/with the clicky finger.
• For those members who choose the payment plan, members will make their initial payment when they sign up, and then be billed the final payments in October and again in January for the remaining balance. Please note, these payments are now 3 months apart instead of 4.
• If members choosing the payment plan become delinquent in payment, their membership shall be forfeit if their account becomes 30-days past due, and the remainder of their membership will be offered to the next person on the waiting list.
• If you opt for the payment plan, and find you need to cancel your membership…too bad. Just kidding. Please feel free to notify me privately. I will not bite your head off…well, maybe just a nibble.
• It is the member’s responsibility to notify me if their desired mailing address differs from the one listed in Paypal. It is also the member’s responsibility to notify me in a timely manner if their address changes. If I wanted to I could read your minds, but I prefer to use my evil powers for, well…evil.
• IF for whatever lame reason, you are displeased with your yarn, (and we don’t see why you would be. This is the MGYC, it’s implied that you get what you get and you like it) anyhow… if for some reason you and your colorway aren’t getting along, just follow these simple rules…
  

1. First and foremost…NO WANKING ALLOWED!
2. Email La or Tareshen aka The Evil Adminion, and in 50 words or less inform us of your decision.
3. We’ll put the word out to your fellow members that there’s an unloved, neglected, ABUSED skein of MGYC yarn out there in need of a good home.
4. We’ll put the abandoner/adopter in touch with each other, and you all can iron out all the payment/shipping details to your little black hearts’ content.
5. If, in the unlikely event that no one wants your castoff, you can do with it what you will, but only after 6 months.
6. If all else fails, see rule #1.

So, mark your calendars for May 4, bookmark this webpage, subscribe to this blog, go join the Ravelry Group and get your clicky finger into shape, there's only one week left until sign-ups!

The Year of Mean

Well, gals, our first year is done, and I don't know about you, but I'm feeling rather energized and ready to go out and show this world what being a Mean Girl is all about.

So what now? You know what? I'm rather in the mood to stroll languidly down memory lane reliving the highlights of the past year while waiting on La to get off her duff and start with MGYC Part Deux. And since I'm writing this and you're not, here we go.

June - Aunt Sarah's Pussies

"We are Siamese if you please. We are Siamese if you don't please."

Oh those adorable little kitties. What? Just ask Aunt Sarah. Her poor innocent babies. You believe me right?

With this delivery from House of Awesome, the Mean Girl's Yarn Club got off to a slinky, cunning start.

August - Heartless Tart

"I warn you dear child, if I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?"

Egads, the things a Queen must endure! Unruly, impertinent children, and gardeners that are quite incompetent. If one didn't have ways of amusing oneself, life would be most unbearable. Now where is that Rabbit?

The second offering, from Atelier Dizzy Blonde was as sizzling as the month it arrived.

October - Shelfish Bitch

"Come in. Come in, my child. We mustn't lurk in doorways. It's rude. One might question your upbringing."

Unbelievable, the entitlement complex children have these days! One works and slaves for their art and these ungrateful wretches offer a pittance. A pittance!

The third installment, and the halfway mark, was a true work of art from KnittyKnitterton.

December - Aurora's Hoarealis

"Well, quite a glittering assemblage King Stefan. Royalty, nobility, the gentry, and... oh, how quaint - even the rabble."

Boring. That's all they are, plain and simple. Pastels, even. Bah. Excuse me, I have a distaff to go sharpen.

The fourth episode in the series was a stunning concoction, guaranteed to brighten the dreariest winter day, from KnottyLa.

February - Heart in a Box

"When she breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, her breath will still, her blood congeal, then I'll be fairest in the land!"

Uppity little chit. And what in the world is this singing with bluebirds crap? Don't make me vomit. Is she really so naive as to think that beauty comes without a price? Newsflash, stepbrat, you're the price this time.

This little Valentine came in two versions, both breathtaking masterpieces, one from Alpha B Yarns (top), one from House of Awesome (bottom).

April - Lucifer's Mistress

"And of course there's the mending and the sewing and the laundry... Oh, yes, and one more thing. See that Lucifer gets his bath."

Bath? Is she even clean enough to give me a bath? I doubt it. I'm probably filthy, what with all the snooping and the spying and the tattling. All that effort to keep her in line. A minion's work is never done. I wonder if she'll floss my teeth after I eat her squeaky little friends?

This, the final chapter in our tale, was especially poignant for me. Such a tribute to minion hood coinciding with my birthday? I was verklempt. Brought to you by Dizzy Blonde Studios, this subtle nod to those that work behind the scenes reminds all of us good little minions how lucky we are to work for only the finest and how fortunate they have been in their search for the perfect muscle.

Now we've reached the end of our tour.

Impressive, huh? I admit, I feel a little empty inside, but I'm sure that my mailman won't mind. Although...his aim from the sidewalk has gotten pretty damn accurate and I do so adore that slight sheen of terror in his eyes when I open the door.

Unfortunately for him, it's not over. Stay tuned to this exclusive venue for information on the Sequel. We promise it won't hurt too awful much.

FIN

Mean Girls on Lime & Violet Live!

Okay, this is a call-out to all you industrious hoars who've actually knitted stuff with your MGYC yarn, instead of just HOARding it to roll around in nekkid.

Thanks to MissLime & MissViolet, you not only can catch me pimping my yarns & designs this Wednesday, 7:30 EDT at the Facebook virtual stitch & bitch over at Lime & Violet Live, but you can help me LOADS by showing off the GORGEOUS things you've made from the MGYC yarn. The theme of this S&B is "Lace" so your amazing shawls would fit into the theme perfectly! (Yes, I'm looking at you Kim)

To strut your stuff all you need is a facebook account, webcam, microphone, and a little intestinal fortitude. (Mine comes in the form of a margarita). If you just want to watch, and I know some of you are into that sort of thing, you can still lurk. There's a chatroom feature where you can heckle me all you want.

In any case, it should prove to be lots of fun for everyone, so come on out!

Cats-Eye View

Lucifer’s Mistress

Evil, like beauty (but much more interesting), is in the eye of the beholder. And if the “beholder” isn’t seeing things correctly, one can always poke them in the eye to help improve their vision. My mistress, Lady Tremaine is lucky to have me around for just such occasions. In addition I assist her in keeping that slacker, Cinderella in line…
SO lucky!
Behind every successful Mean Girl there’s a devoted minion!

And who is more devoted than me, Lucifer? Menacer of Mice; Harasser of Hounds; Badgerer of the Beleagured! No one I tell you. I insisted on these colors myself. The shades of gray perfectly match, not only Lady Tremaine's glorious hair, but also the wonderful stone coldness of her heart, while the blues and jades match her gown and jewels which compliment her grayness impeccably. The cool tones perfectly capture my mistress' wonderfully icy demeanor.

Loot of Lucifer's Mistress

Included with the generous 560yd./115g. skein of fingering weight sock yarn, was a wonderfully smelling handmade stash sachet (or "Stashet" as I like to call them) made of cloves & cedar by Aimee of Fairie Knits. Pssssshhhht. Looks to me more like a little packet of heaven in the form of catnip. If only I could get my claws into it to find out.

And finally a poured-sugar "glass" slipper. KnottyLa, who made the candy, informs me that it was champagne flavored. Whyever would she include candy in the shape of the object of my mistress's downfall, I'll never know. I guess she's a mean girl too.

Lady Tremaine
Cinderella's Evil Stepmother